LOOKING BACK ON CHRISTMAS 1998
By ADAM WADE

I looked out of the fourth floor window of the
Associated Press Building at 50 Rockefeller Center
and saw 'the tree' all lit up in its glory.




It was 1998, and I'd been in New York City for 7
months and was working the 4pm-12am shift on Christmas
Eve in the AP Photo Office as a photo assistant.

I had just gotten off the phone with ALL of my
relatives in New Hampshire. This was my first
Christmas away from home. Everyone was gathered at my
Uncle George and Aunt Dee Dee's. Everybody told me
how proud they were of me and how much they missed me.

I was surprised how severely depressed and lonely I
actually got when I hung up the phone. The whole
floor at AP was empty except the 5 kids who also 'got
their first big break' after college (getting hired by
AP right before Thanksgiving). Oh, the 'eat'em up,
spit'em out' news industry. We were the Holiday
Rejects!



I was watching 'A Very Brady Christmas' on the TV
above me, but even Florence Henderson's singing
couldn't put me in a jovial mood. I thought to
myself, 'So this is what life in the big city is all
about!'


My phone rang and I jumped to answer it. It was my
food delivery. All the food places were closed in the
area because of the holiday except for T.G.I.Fridays
on 5th Ave. My 'meal' came to $14.80 and I gave the
Latino deliveryman a $20 and said, "Happy Holidays."
It made me feel like a big deal (for a second). The
man smiled at me in appreciation and said in broken
English "Bless you, son, Merry Christmas." It seemed
we both felt a little connection there. We were both
working on a night... well, that we wish we weren't.

I headed back to my desk and saw what I got for $20:
3 chicken tenders, a handful of fries, and about
16 ounces of cole slaw in a plastic big gulp cup
from.... McDonald's. This confused me a bit. Ketchup
and honey mustard were, of course, missing. I began
to eat and think about my Aunt Dee Dee's kitchen table
and all the food that certainly was spread out for
Christmas Eve dinner.

Around 10pm, the 'French-could-be model' that was
working with me, asked if she could leave early and
meet up with her boyfriend and his family on the Upper
East Side.

"No problem. I have everything under control." I
said. She gave me a big hug and wet kiss on the
cheek.

"Merry Christmas, Adam." She said. Then she left. I
honestly (I know this sounds really sad), thought she
was going to invite me to her boyfriend's parents when
I got off work at midnight. But she didn't.

I sat at my chair and dozed off for what seemed to be
5 minutes, but ended up being an hour and a half.
Suddenly, the midnight crew of 5 more recent college
grads strolled in and I quickly grabbed my coat and
backpack.

My last stop was the AP commissary. My pal Rudy, a
former Jazz band roadie was the chef there. Ol' Rudy
gave me a cup of coffee and we talked about sports for
a while. I always liked making Rudy laugh. He sort
of wheezed when he got going with his soulful
laughter. Deep down I think he knew I had no where to
go. After my third cup of coffee I shook Rudy's hand
and wished him a Merry Christmas.

As I got to the door Rudy said, "Adam."

I turned around, "Yeah Rudy?"

"Hang in there, alright?" He said. "All your dreams
will come true, just hang in there."




That, without a doubt, was the best present I
received that year.