THIS WEEK'S WINNERS:

BEST SCOTTY EULOGY POST (TIE):
It doesn't matter how long we stand here. Scotty's not going to beam us up.


R.I.P. Scotty
Don

BEST ROAST OF NICK "THE FISH" ON THIS SITE:
Table #5 at Nicky and Kristine's wedding: "We thought it was gonna be one of those 'theme' weddings we've heard so much about," said Uncle Carl "Data" Parente.
Ed Shirak Jr.

BEST POST BY A GUY WHO SHARED A DORMROOM WITH TWO TREKKIES IN 1995:
Mama said, "if'n you wanna find yo'self a man, you gotsta go where the men is." So Ginny & I got us some trekkie shirts from her cousin who has like a hunderd of 'em, and drove up to Cheyenne to that convention center. Well mama was right! And these ain't no farm boys neither. Ginny latched onto one guy, he was a 'starship captain' or somethin' like that. Can you imagine! I met this guy who said he wanted to use his 'phaser' on me. I don't know what that is, but he was sellin' these pradder knock-off bags, and I got one cheap!
Flanders

SOMETHING OVERHEARD IN THE CHS CAFE CiRCA 1993 (BY THE JUKEBOX):
'darn it, melinda, i told you i was wearing the red tonight. now, we look ree-goddang-diculous in matching colors. i am never talking to you -- in klingon -- again.'
deano

BEST SCOTTY EULOGY POST (TIE):
James Doohan's grandkids are kinda pissed that all they inherited were these lousy shirts.

James Doohan III eulogy, "Thanks to grandpa, I am able to hook up with the hottest girl at any of the Star Trek conventions. Problem is, the hottest girl at the Star Trek convention is the cardboard cutout of Uhura. But I'll take it. Not so much that it's enjoyable, it kinda hurts actually, it's really just that the other guy's know they can't have her, and I can. So thanks grandpa, and goodbye. I promised myself I wouldn't say beam me up grandpop, but (crying) I guess I just did."
Lonny

QUINN DOUBLE SHOT:
'I'm Related to a semi-Famous Person' photo-op and signing at a Trekker Convention.

Mindy Cohn's sister, Candy Cohn.

Michael Rappoport's brother, Mort Rappoport.

Lori Petty's sister, Vera Petty.

The guy in yellow could be related to the singer from Savage Garden. Geez, he looks like someone..Hey, That Medieval Times guy from Garden State?
Quinn

_______

Disappointed Extras from the set of "Galaxy Quest: Thurmians Return" are told they passed the required drug screen but failed the Coolness Factor.

Repeat Offenders:
-Excessive D&D references..
-Beaten up playing Tether ball..
-Winning 4th grade Science Fairs-at 24 yrs old..
-President of the Pig Latin Society.
-Beaten up playing in your own back yard.
-Hosting your Own Blog Roast.
-Speaking in Klingon.
. . . . . .
Quinn

Geek Theatre presents their rendition of "The Usual Suspects".
matt sears

You just gotta love that man, ADAMWADE.

Long known for being willing to take begging for support to new levels, ADAMWADE is now hosting his own roast.

"FIRST ANNUAL" he calls it.

I can hardly wait for the monthly edition ... which will likely go weekly soon after that. Then it'll just go weakly.

Isn't that just like ADAMWADE?

So, ADAMWADE fans ... let's give him what he wants!
Don

Heres a few words on the man known as Wade, we all know he tries too hard with women and rarely gets laid.
His comedy is hilarious in his own innocent way but as our good friend Cousin John was once quoted "your show is gay"
He thinks the Sox and the Pats will once again be championship teams but like your chances with Nicole Peete (sp), only in your dreams.
Honestly though, Wade you are a great friend and I hope you go far but when you make it big don't forget your buddies from the bar.
Walter

Adam Wade, folks. Never met a donut that he didn't love.
When I met Wade, he was like, "Yah, Yah. I got a blog. Yah, Yah." It was slow-going to get me to check it out. After seeing it, I wonder why it's slow-leaving.
But seriously. Seriously. Wade works hard, folks. Wade works hard. Not everybody can spend twenty minutes every hour in the men's room. That takes focus and commitment.
I just wish he would tidy up afterward. I've seen cleaner sidewalks in Hoboken.
But anyway, it is a great site for a great man. Enjoy your roast, buddy.
matt sears

Adam Adam Adam - where to begin. Should we start with how cute it was when you called us 'your girls' when we are both so out of your league it's not even funny. Or should we start (or return) to your absolutely non-manly choice of beverages at the greatest bar in Hoboken - THE WINE SPRITZER. Adam - you are a better man than that - at least we always hoped you were. In all seriousness - we love the blog and think your show is a riot.
Janet and Chrissy

Whether it's putting them up first after a half-assed opening bit in front of twelve co-workers at the 6,000 person capacity Acme Underground, or offering you a third Wade t-shirt free if you buy two at full price, Wade's always eager to do friends a favor. How bout I do you a favor and tell you to keep your day job. I kid, I kid. Say speaking of day jobs can you get me one with you?

Wade's a stand-up guy in every sense of the word which is more than can be said of a lot of his peers. Keep up the hard work and thanks for always offering great advice. Hey, you still doing that whole "living in the basement in Jersey thing?"
Adam CK

I thought this was a roast for Madame Wade, so I didn't plan anything--except for the inevitable mystery rash and utter regret.

Now that I know it's for ADAM Wade-
I still didn't plan anything...except for the inevitable mystery rash and utter regret.

ahh..Utter. Two words, Wade:
Man Boobs.

I hear boy-Wade is from (rolls eyes)
New Hampshire. A lovely state.
But, Live Free or Die? These are your options??
Your idea Wade?
You Hockey Puck.
What's with the fidgeting?
Maple Sugar Rush, or did the Ritalin finally kick in?
Quinn

we all love adam wade. adam wade, a great man ... great comedian. in fact, he is the fifth funniest comedian to have come out of the giant metropolis of manchester, new hampshire in the 1990s.

sidenote: wade, i think you are the funniest.
deano

I met Adam Wade way back when he was very intimidated by girls...

...not last week, before then...

The poor kid couldn't get a date. He would look at girls, stare, gawk, drool...everything but talk to them. And to separate out the 'hot' from the 'homely', Adam gives them nicknames. My first experience with Adam's Girlie Nicknames was in college, he was trying to point out a "hot, tall blonde with a cute nose"...as I'm looking at 15 that would match that description, "which one?" Adam says, "when we walk by her, I'll say 'Larry Bird'".

So we walk out of the dining hall with Adam shouting "Larry Bird! Larry Bird! Larry Bird!" like a lunatic.

And no girl would date him, huh, amazing...

But those days are behind him, thankfully. And wherever Miss Larry Bird is today, she would be honored to hang on Adam's arm.
Flanders

Wade, I could tell the story about the Greatest Christmas Present Ever, but I think this is a family show...
Flanders

It's a little strange roasting on a blog. It would be a lot easier at a venue. Then again, who would attend? Me and an angry venue manager. (ba-room-shish)
And who could forget the time Wade was tossed from Fenway for being too drunk. Turns out he was stone-cold sober but the guards heard him speak and were convinced he was loaded. (rim-shot)
But anyway, in all seriousness, Wade's a pretty cool guy. He just doesn't like to lift things.
matt sears

I'd like to thank Adam for inviting me today.

You know, I'm starting to think that "italian tuna" is a euphamism for "blow-up doll."



If I had a dollar for every time the word "Wade" is mentioned on this website, I'd have eight hundred and fourteen dollars.

How different would Adam's life be if his last name was LIphshitz? Sadly for us, my guess would be no different at all.

Not many people know this, but Adam's middle name is "self-indulgent."

No, but seriously, Wade's a good guy and he works hard.
Lonny

Wade(aka Adam Ant),

Congratulations on the success of the roast - I'm impressed that you could find so many people willing to participate, well... maybe its not that impressive after all.

I'm looking forward to Cousin John's tribute.

Hope to see you down the shore soon.

Pat El